Every Thursday I bring you kid-tested parenting tips for a specific parenting challenge “from the mouths of moms.” Last time we shared our ideas for getting kids ready for the first day of school. But for those of you are expecting a new baby, here are some tips from experienced moms for surviving those first weeks with a newborn…
Alright, Mamas, what are your best tips for those first weeks with a newborn?
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask
“Don't be afraid to ask for the help you need.” Deirdre from JDaniel4’s Mom
2. Accept Help
“If someone offers to help, take them up on it.” Allison from Train Up A Child
3. Know When to Say “NO”
“Never feel guilty about telling someone it isn't a good time to stop by and come and see the baby if an onslaught of visitors makes you feel stressed or if you just really want quiet time at home as a family.” Jennifer from The Good Long Road
4. Put Housework Aside
“Don't worry about the house. Focus on your baby and yourself.” Allison from Train Up A Child
5. Stock Up The Freezer
“Stock up on frozen dinners. Don't feel guilty if they're not homemade. Trader Joe's frozen food is yummy and will please any new mom and dad.” Rebekah from The Golden Gleam
6. Order Take Out
“Order out, stay in, cuddle and enjoy every precious moment.” Crystal from Growing a Jeweled Rose
7. Don’t Forget the Photos & Videos
“Take a ton of photos and video clips.” Laura from Play Dr. Mom
8. Have a Lactation Consultant on Speed Dial
“If you’ve decided to breastfeed, make sure to build a relationship with a lactation consultant and other nursing moms prior to the baby’s birth. Breastfeeding doesn’t come easy for many moms, but there are tons of things that you can do and try to make it successful. So give them a call as soon as you feel there might be problems.” Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
9. Don’t Forget The Big Kids
“With baby #4, family members took the older siblings out for the day a couple times, and I loved that time to sleep and truly relax with the baby!” MaryAnne from Mama Smiles
10. There’s No Such Thing as Spoiling a Baby
“Don't let anyone tell you that you are holding your baby too much. You are the mama, do what feels right to you.” Amy from Z is for Zel
11. Be Open to Change
“My best piece of advice is always ‘never say never.’ In any given moment you will try any given thing you need to do in order to get through that moment. For instance, just when you say you will ‘never use a pacifier,’ you will be sending your partner to the store at midnight to pick you up a pacifier!” Jennifer from Kitchen Counter Chronicles
12. Call the Doctor or Midwife
“Don’t be afraid to call the pediatrician or midwife if you have any questions or concerns about the health of yourself or your baby. That’s what we pay them for!” Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
13. Limit Visitors
“Ban visits. We told our families that we didn't want them to descend on us on day one. We asked them to give us a week to get used to being a family of three. Of course they ignored our request but it did mean they weren't there every day and we had given a clear message that we needed some space. When its your first YOU want to get used to holding them before you have to play pass the parcel.” The Monko from Taming the Goblin
14. Take Advantage of Naptime
“A lot of newborns sleep a lot. Take advantage of this; It doesn't last long.” The Monko from Taming the Goblin
15. Follow Your Instincts
“When we brought my daughter home she just wanted to sleep and didn’t want to wake up to nurse. My family kept telling me to ‘never wake a sleeping baby,’ but it just didn’t feel right to let her sleep so much and go without nutrition. So I took her in to see my midwife who checked her blood and found that she was severely jaundice. She was re-admitted to the hospital and needed to be supplemented with formula and spend 24 hours under the lights. I’m so glad I followed my instincts and that she got better quickly.” Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
16. Don’t Forget Your Needs
“I feel strongly that you won't know how you will feel until after the birth, so give yourself the freedom to do or say what will make you the happiest and most comfortable in this tender time. Be kind to yourself because your body will be going through so many changes and you'll need time to adjust to the new member of your family and the changes it will bring to your life and your relationship with your spouse.” Chrissy from The Outlaw Mom
17. Get Dad Involved
“I think it’s important to get your partner involved with the baby’s care as soon as possible. Especially if they aren’t too comfortable or experienced with babies. That way you can feel good about letting them help out and give you breaks.” Krissy from B-Inspired Mama
What are your best tips for surviving the first weeks with a newborn?
Do you have any clever parenting tips or fun kids’ activities? I’d love to share them with my readers by having you guest post. Just contact me for more information!
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I'm expecting my second child in 3 weeks, and this post is exactly what I needed to read. Especially the idea of limiting visitors - this was great advice with my beautiful newborn daughter. You're the one who did all the hard work to bring that baby into your family, you should get to spend as much time snuggling them as you like! My one other piece of advice is odd, but shower daily. Sometimes it's hard to find time to yourself when you have a newborn, and making sure you feel clean and refreshed goes a long way to helping a new mom get back into the swing of things!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the showering! I sometimes let that slide being a stay at home mama, but I always feel so much better when I can get one in early in the day. Congrats on your upcoming little one!
DeleteOh how I wish I had known all of these things 18 months ago. Those first few weeks were very overwhelming and emotional for me. I'll try to remember these for our next baby.
ReplyDeleteI had a very overwhelming time the first few weeks after each of my three, too. I think it's very normal.
DeleteI would say, give yourself permission to feel overwhelmed. When we brought our son home 3 months ago, it was an overwhelming experience. I had so many hormones going and was so worn out that I cried often. It was usually because I was just so amazed that I could love something so tiny so much. My husband was amazing and supported me every time, telling that it was ok to cry and ok to feel all of it. Giving yourself the release helps a lot... And doesn't mean you can't handle it. You can. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, you're right. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you at all if you cry or become overwhelmed with emotion. It's totally normal! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Meagan!
DeleteShare your struggles. It looks like everybody has it together but really, everybody just isn't saying anything negative... til you do :)
ReplyDeleteMarcia - thank you so much for sharing this. I think this is so true that so many women feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit when they are struggling postpartum. But it is really quite normal and needs to be communicated. It would certainly help to break the stigma associated with postpartum depression. Thank you!
DeleteLetting Dad do things is really important. When I came home after the hospital I'd had maybe 10 hours of sleep in the past few days. That night I got no sleep, and about 10 the next morning my husband forced me to go to bed and he would do it. Of coarse he came in every 5 minutes asking questions, but the break was still very needed. He's not the tender kind, but later that day he even made me something to eat cause I hadn't ate all day.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome husband you have! While J.C. (7 months old) is my third, he is my fiance's first child. So I made sure to get him to jump right into baby care early on. It really helped. Now he's a pro and I have no problems leaving the baby with him when I need to.
DeleteI <3 this post as the mother of a newborn!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, MaryAnne!
DeleteSomething I have told new mamas is this:
ReplyDeleteIt is Hard.
I have been thanked many times for this truth.
Nobody told me that it was hard, so I thought something was wrong with me that it wasn't all sunshine and unicorn and roses nor really much fun for the first while.
Of course, it keeps getting better!
Thanks so much for your honesty!
DeleteGreat post, and I love the honest answers from everyone.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Allison!
DeleteI so wished I had a list like this when my son was a baby.
ReplyDeleteI know, right, Dierdre?! Me, too!
DeleteWow. I just found out I'm pregnant with my first baby and this is sending me into stress mode! Most of my friends are moms and no one really told me it was that hard. And a few pretty exceptional moms actually make it seem easy. Bring the stress on, girls! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteMama, don't stress! I think the moms that have the hardest time are the ones who have no idea. These moms are just being honest so that other expecting moms like you can be prepared with support people and systems in place BEFORE times get tiring and trying. But trust me, the love of your new sweet baby will be SO worth it! Congrats, Mama!!
DeleteYes, yes, yes to all especially number 16. My first few weeks with twins was mind-numbing. Whenever I woke up earlier to shower and dress up nice, it was like an energy boost.
ReplyDeleteI wish I followed number three and thirteen from day one!! Now looking at the past five months I have been overwhelmed with people feeling that they have a right to stop or call at anytime. It's almost like they don't think that we need our space anymore. So anyone that has a large family....please ask for space before it seems too late!!
ReplyDeleteMy number one tip! You don't have to answer the phone! Let it ring, its not a big deal. This rule ment alot when we had our 3rd this past May. I had to get my oldest to school, and rustle up an 16 month old all while trying to breast feed. Our message on the machine was "Felix Michael Neil-8lbs 10oz, we're doing great. And because we're so much more in love with him more than you, we'll call you back when hes sick of us! Thank you again!" People thought it was hilarious, heard his name, weight, and knew we were thinking of our own family. Remember you don't have to answer the phone! (If you don't answer the phone you can't be guilted into inviting people either)
ReplyDeleteThank you! This is a wonderful idea! I just found out that I am pregnant (with my first) and I am already stressing about the amount of family members that will descend upon our home once the baby is born!
DeleteLove this post! Our first is due in February and I will definitely keep all these things in mind. Thanks from a first time momma!
ReplyDeleteI had extremely horribly postpartum depression. I was lucky my mom and husband were there to help me. I wish I knew then what i know now, and could go back and enjoy my son as a newborn. He's only 4 months old now, but he was tiniest, sweetest newborn who just wanted to be held and loved and I couldn't give it to him. No one told me breastfeeding was hard or that he would be up every 2 or 3 hours to eat and being told that my instincts were wrong by the doctors when they were actually right made it all the more frustrating. I agree wholeheartedly it's hard, and anyone that says it isn't must be superwoman or have amazing hormones. I love my son so much now, I gave up my career and everything I worked for up until now to be there for him for now and truth be told, he's the best full time job I've ever had. Good luck and best wishes to all the new mamas out there.
ReplyDeleteit's ok to cry because the sky is blue if you need a cry - have a cry. and then get yourself a little treat. make ahead lots of one handed eating foods so you can munch while you nurse - I always have a hard time getting my calories in with breastfeeding.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post we are expecting our first in March and I tend to get overwhelmed even now. Thank you all for your honesty.
ReplyDeletedon't forget to swaddle your baby. they like the feeling of still being in utero,it's especially good for calming a cranky baby.
ReplyDeleteWe are expecting our suprise baby in 8 days. Our other 2 are 13 and 15....wish I would have had this advice way back then. Thanks for the post. =)
ReplyDeleteMy advice is to start or join a moms group. I'm due in January and was invited to join a select group of stay at home moms on facebook. Our little group is mostly girls I've known since we were little, and the group is absolutely private. We all have to agree to invite anyone into the group because we are all very open. Even for this pregnancy it has made my life so much better. I can post symptoms and someone will know what I'm going through. If you're researching something, someone else will have researched it too and can give insight. Women NEED women, and more than that moms NEED moms. The support of someone who has had a shared experience is priceless and can not be overstated.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is to start or join a moms group. I'm due in January and was invited to join a select group of stay at home moms on facebook. Our little group is mostly girls I've known since we were little, and the group is absolutely private. We all have to agree to invite anyone into the group because we are all very open. Even for this pregnancy it has made my life so much better. I can post symptoms and someone will know what I'm going through. If you're researching something, someone else will have researched it too and can give insight. Women NEED women, and more than that moms NEED moms. The support of someone who has had a shared experience is priceless and can not be overstated.
ReplyDelete